Domestic Abuse Awareness

This article shares insight on recognizing what Domestic Abuse is and the impact it can have to mental health and well-being.

Types of Domestic Violence and Abuse

Emotional abuse can involve any of the following:

  • Verbal abuse like shouting at you, insulting you, or swearing at you.

  • Blackmailing

  • Rejection i.e constantly rejecting your thoughts, ideas, and opinions.

  • Gas lighting: making you doubt your own feelings thought's, and even your sanity.

  • Manipulating you to do something you don't want to do

Physical abuse possible indicator:

  • Multiple bruising

  • Scratches and bites

  • Fractures

  • Burns

  • Bedsores

  • Fear

  • Anxiety & Depression

  • Withdrawn type behavior

  • Unexplained weight loss

  • Assault (can be intentional or reckless)

Sexual violence includes but is not limited to:

  • Any form of sexual activity (involving physical contact, words, or photographs) that takes place without the other person's full and informed consent.

Do be aware that you can be sexually assaulted by someone you are in a relationship with or married to.

For example, if your partner forces you into doing something sexual that you are not comfortable with.

Financial abuse:

In particular, is the illegal or improper use of a person's property, finances, and other assets without their informed consent.

It can also be where consent is obtained by fraud, manipulation, or duress.

An example is someone taking control of your money, using it for their personal benefits, and not giving you enough to buy food or pay bills.

Domestic Violence and Abuse can happen to anyone!

Domestic violence is any behavior the purpose of which is to gain power and control over a spouse, partner, girl/boyfriend, or intimate family member.

Abuse is a learned behavior; it is not caused by anger, mental problems, drugs or alcohol, or other common excuses.

Unfortunately, Domestic Violence around children is common and does cause an impact on their Mental Health and Well being.

Studies show that living with domestic violence can cause physical and emotional harm to children and young people in the following ways:

  • Ongoing anxiety

  • Depression

  • Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

  • Emotional distress

  • Eating, and sleeping disturbances.

Some studies show that children who experienced Domestic Violence in their early years may fall victim to substance misuse and dependency in adulthood.

The most unreported abuse statistically seems to be Emotional abuse.

Some of the people I have supported through domestic abuse were unaware that they were being abused.

For anyone who isn't sure what an emotionally abusive relationship is here is a scenario for you!

Once upon a time, you met the sweetest person in the world, who showered you with compliments and care. Who said they loved you and would do anything for you.

After the early love bombing stage ( a time period where your relationship felt like a fairy tale) slowly your partner's mask starts to slip.

At first, it might start with a sly remark like " Are you really wearing that out? You shouldn't because it makes you look cheap."

Instead of affirming who you are, you allow that comment slide, eventually escalating you to change who you are for that person.

You change your style, the way you dress, the way you wear your hair, what you eat, slowly withdraw from friends and family.

You start to forget who you were before meeting them.

They make you feel like you’re inferior to them.

Like you couldn’t live without them as if you are too naive or too weak to survive alone.

Chipping away at your very soul.

You might stop going to work or college as you can’t function.

You might have anxiety about leaving the house or too afraid that it might cause an argument.

You probably by now feel severely lonely and isolated.

Small tasks like going grocery shopping or doing a school run require permission to leave the house.

Financial abuse could enter your life now that you are no longer financially independent.

You may feel you have to rely on your abuser for food and daily living expenses.

All they said to you about not being able to cope alone.

They have chipped away at your self-esteem so much that you may think what your going through is your fault.

Never forget that it is NOT your fault!

Remember that phrase you grew up hearing?

It goes, "Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt me"...

A phrase that many were taught as children to make them more "thick-skinned and strong".

In my opinion, the phrase does the opposite of giving strength.

I feel that it incinerates that if you're not being physically assaulted, then you should ignore the verbal abuse that is inflicted upon you.

Words can hurt more than physical abuse, as the scars they leave are not visible to the naked eye.

The scars are in your mind, in your heart, and definitely take's longer to heal than a busted lip.

Any behavior from someone, that makes you feel disrespected, crosses your boundaries, or makes you feel pain needs to be removed from your life immediately!

Please note that due to a rise in domestic abuse cases during this Pandemic the UK government has enforced the code name ANI - pronounced "Annie" that can be used in pharmacies if you need help discreetly.

ANI stands for "Action needed Immediately" it's early days for this rollout, so let's hope that it works as and when the time comes.

Here is the link to that info and further government advice:

Domestic abuse: get help during the coronavirus (COVID-19 ... › Domestic violence

If you or someone you know needs further information regarding Domestic Violence and Abuse here are the links to some of the best services that I have signposted people to:

National Domestic Abuse Helpline

If you are in an emergency situation, please call 999. We are a team of highly-trained, female advisers. We won't judge.

The Gaia Centre - Refuge Charity - Domestic Violence Help › our-work › one-stop-shop-services

The pioneering Gaia Centre, funded by the London Borough of Lambeth, was the first of its kind in the UK to offer a 'single point of access' for women, girls, and Men.

Cassandra Centre – CarePlace › Services › Cassandra-Centre

Description. Cassandra Centre is a registered domestic violence and abuse charity based in Norbury, London SW16 that helps young women and men gain support regarding domestic violence.

Domestic Abuse – Galop › domesticabuse

T: 0800 999 5428. E: Emotional and practical support for LGBT+ people experiencing domestic abuse. Abuse isn't always physical- it can be ...

Freedom from domestic abuse | RISE

RISE is an independent, Brighton-based registered charity that helps people affected by domestic abuse.

I am offering Peer Support meetings for abuse survivors if you are interested in joining the private forum email me!

Love and Light to you all! 🌍❤